Parents are often surprised when their teens use curse words and wonder where they, “learned that kind of language.” Dr. Hyken addresses that issue on KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis, MO.
Sun 07.24 |
Kids and CursingCOMMENTS (0)Parents are often surprised when their teens use curse words and wonder where they, “learned that kind of language.” Dr. Hyken addresses that issue on KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis, MO. |
Tue 07.12 |
Strategies for a Profanity Free HomeCOMMENTS (0)I remember the first time I heard my child use a swear word. He did not know what it meant, and its context was so funny I laughed. Seeing my reaction, my son, who was just three years old at the time, decided to not just say it again, but sing it at the top of his lungs. Once I pulled my composure together, my parenting sense kicked in, and I told my son he is not use that word again. Unfortunately, cursing is becoming more common place in our society. A recent survey commissioned by Care.com found that eighty-six percent of parents believe that the current generation of children are cursing more and using inappropriate language at an earlier age than when they were kids. So why do kids curse? For younger children it is just part of language learning. They don’t understand “taboo” words and mimic speech and phrases that they hear. As children get older, they hear this language at the playground, on cable television, in their music, and at the movies. Due to peer pressure, a desire to impress their friends, or to be part of the group, these inappropriate sayings start getting more use. Parents need to take control of this situation. Different ages, however, deserve different rules and explanations. Typically, until around age six, kids should be told to not use those words and that they are bad. No further clarification is needed. As kids get older and can understand more abstract concepts, more explanation is warranted. This often means defining words along with a serious talk about how to appropriately express feelings. As kids enter the teen years, when cursing peaks, drawing appropriate boundaries becomes the issue. Teens will use profanity around their peers and there is nothing a parent can do about it except monitor the situation and set some ground rules. Angst-ridden adolescents should never cuss at school, around adults, or in public. Also, their language, while bad, should be an expression of frustration or an appropriately used adjective; it should not be part of a mean, angry attack on another peer. If these types of rants frequently occur, it is not only unacceptable, but it may also be the sign of a bigger problem. Lastly, parents need to set the example and stop cussing themselves. Below are some strategies to assist with making your household profanity free. |
Wed 06.29 |
Traveling With Teens VideoCOMMENTS (0)Traveling with teens during a summer family vacation may be getting difficult as the kids get older. Dr. Hyken offers some tips on how to deal with that issue on KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis. |
Fri 06.17 |
Allowance Or Obligation For Children VideoCOMMENTS (0)Most parents give their teens an allowance for spending money. However, it is important to think through how much, when and for what. Dr. Hyken addresses these issues on KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis MO. |
Thu 06.02 |
Ladue News Article: Giving Teens a Safe, Sane, Productive SummerCOMMENTS (0)
As I reflect upon my youth and those lazy days of summer, I have fond memories of staying out late, spending hours by the pool, and making many phone calls to determine the when and the where of my next nightly activity. Yes, those were simpler times without worries of curfew laws, skin cancer and Wi-Fi access. |
Fri 05.13 |
Teens & Summer JobsCOMMENTS (1)Most parents want to see their teens get a summer job. Not all teens agree. Dr. Hyken addresses the issue on KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis. |
Mon 04.25 |
Facebook, Depression and ChildrenCOMMENTS (0)The use of Facebook is a prevalent form of communication among young people today. However, does it lead to depression? There is some debate about that, which Dr. Hyken addresses on KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis, MO. |
Sun 04.17 |
Facebook May Be Harmful to Your HealthCOMMENTS (1)According to a published report in the Journal of Pediatrics‘ “Clinical Report-The Impact of Social Media on Children, Adolescents, and Families,” there is a growing concern about a new phenomena called “Facebook depression.” Facebook depression is defined by these professionals as “depression that develops when preteens and teens spend a great deal of time on social media sites, such as Facebook, and then begin to exhibit classic signs of depression.” While many of us use the internet to enhance life through online shopping, bill paying and surfing our interest areas, there is a “dark” side to the online world. It is common knowledge that many suffer from internet addictions affiliated with gambling, pornography and video games. Now, however, there is research indicating that social media use could lead to depression–Facebook may be harmful to your health. There is an ongoing debate among mental health professionals that considers if using Facebook/social media could be the cause of depression or if that depressive state existed prior to going online. While this is an interesting topic, which side of the debate you are on is not as important as understanding some of the unique issues that Facebook could create for an adolescent participant. The online universe can be an intense, emotionally charged world wher many measure their own personal self-worth through unrealistic cyber perceptions. Numerical friend tallies, pictures of partying peers and online postings can harm self-esteem if one is not included in the fun. Many teens who view these pages feel their life is comparatively inadequate. Additionally , a lot of kids think of Facebook as a popularity contest of who can have the most connections and post the coolest pics. Facebook is also a place for teens to announce their accomplishments and receive accolades from their friends and family. This is an excellent way to use Facebook, and I would encourage loved ones to participate in this manner. On the opposite side of the spectrum, imagine the student who feels he has nothing to post and nobody who will comment on his successes. Further enhancing this teen’s downward spiral of depression are the projected feelings that others may think he is a “loser” due to his inability to participate. Lastly, cyber bullies can sink victims to a new low. While in person bully behaviors can have the long lasting emotional affects, the physicality ends upon the conclusion of the incident. Online harassment is public and can potentially remain in cyberspace forever, often making it difficult for students to recover or escape from an incident. Using social media is one of the most common activities that kids engage in today. Research has also indicated that online interactions can have many benefits including better technical skills, enhanced communication abilities, and stronger social connections. If, however, you are not part of the “in crowd,” social media emphasizes your “outsider” status, and that could lead to depression, anxiety and other mental health concerns. |
Mon 04.11 |
Summer TutoringCOMMENTS (0)Summer tutoring is a critical decision for teens and their parents. It may not be popular among kids, but it is often necessary. Dr. Hyken was recently quoted by St. Louis publication The Ladue News as an expert on the subject.
Enter summer tutoring. “If you don’t practice, it all goes away,” says psychotherapist Dr. Russell Hyken, an educational diagnostician and therapeutic placement specialist with educational and psychotherapy services. “If you struggle, to take a math enrichment class over the summer is a great idea. Even a two-week review to keep things fresh keeps those skills alive.” Dr. Hyken also stresses the importance of reading. “Reading is the core of every class. It’s vital to keep that skill up to snuff, even if it’s pleasure reading. Kids are more likely to push slightly beyond their current skill level when they’re enjoying the content,” he adds. A tutoring schedule largely depends upon the individual student’s needs and goals, says Elizabeth Gill, owner of Just Learn, a tutoring center in Warson Woods. For students who need to recover credits, a summer course could be two hours a day for six weeks; for others it might be an hour a week in a classroom or one-on-one setting, she says. When families plan vacations, it’s usually possible to work around that, and Gill often suggests relatively small assignments that the student can work on throughout the trip. “I think it takes the stress off when they walk into the classroom in the fall and they remember things,” she says. “They start off feeling better about themselves.” Gill says that self-esteem is a big part of the reason that a lot of parents and students seek tutoring. “One of our big goals for each student is to improve their self-esteem academically,” she says. “We want to give them the tools to get out on their own and become more independent in their learning–that’s a great thing to get out of it.” School is a big part of life for kids and teenagers, so it’s no surprise that how they perform plays a significant role in their self-esteem. “If you’re bringing home As and Bs, you’re a happy kid,” Hyken says. “If you’re bringing home Cs, Ds and Fs, then life becomes more difficult in general. Arguing about basics like curfew, activities and a clean room gets amplified when kids aren’t doing well in school,” he adds. “If they’re making As, parents tend to overlook those things, but when grades aren’t as good they look at things more deeply.” Dr. Hyken says that a lot of students have minor learning disabilities–what he calls ‘cracks’ in the learning profile–and those problems follow them around throughout the day. Even students who have a ‘superior/average crack’ can face a lot of frustration. These kids have above average performance in some areas–perhaps they’ve been attending private school or taking honors classes–but they struggle in reading, math or another discipline. “They don’t know what to do because they think it’s just them, but a few basic strategies and a little extra time can put them on the right track.” Summer also is a good time for incoming seniors to study for a second shot at the ACT or SAT, Gill says. “If they’re taking it in September or October of their senior year, their goal is to increase their score,” she says. Just Learn offers a two-day, five-hour math course to prepare students for the ACT. “It’s like studying for a final exam,” she notes. “We go through all the concepts from pre-algebra to trigonometry–every concept you might see on the ACT.” The review is geared toward the critical thinking that is required on the test rather than rote memorization, she says. “If you understand where it’s coming from, you don’t have to memorize the formula.” |
Mon 04.04 |
Kids and Quitting VideoCOMMENTS (0)Teens are often quick to sign-up for some extracurricular activity, but sometimes just as quick to quit. How do parents deal with this problem? Dr. Russell Hyken addresses the issues with KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis, MO. |