The job market for teens is slow. Jobs traditionally given to teens are going to older workers who are willing to take low paying employment to make ends meet. Also, establishments that usually add summer help are also the places (retail, theme parks, and the hospitality industry) where Americans hit by the recession are cutting back on spending.

Finding work is hard. Parents need to be supportive and realize what a difficult time it is to find a work. Kids need to get out of the house and pound the pavement. Finding a job is a job itself.

How does a teen land a summer job in today’s tough market? Here are a few thoughts.

1. Be prepared and have a plan.
a. Put together a simple resume. You do have something to brag about, just figure out what it is. This also sets you apart from other job seekers because you have done something different.
b. Look presentable—first impressions matter. You don’t need to wear a suit but dress like you deserve a job!
c. Act like an adult – speak properly, say yes sir or mam, look prospective employers in the eye, and shake hands.
d. Be prepared for no. Finding a job is a right place/right time deal, rejection should not be taken personally—it is part of the process.
e. Follow up – ask for the manager’s card, send a short email, and check back in person the next week.

2. Put a new twist on an old tradition. Use social media to network. Get on Facebook and ask your friends if they know who might be hiring.

3. Work for free–seriously. Volunteering for a cause is rewarding but also consider trying on your dream job. For example, if you want to be a lawyer, knock on some doors and offer to assist at no charge. Treat it like a job and you may eventually get paid. This will also build great resume material.

4. Start a business – “work” the neighborhood and do odd jobs. This is a great way to meet others in your community and learn how to build a business from the ground up including marketing, book keeping, and customer service.

5. Check out “cool” summer job websites. For the industrious and older teen, there are some really unique opportunities such as rustling cattle in the west or being a camp counselor at Sea World. For the younger teen, thinking about these jobs now will help pave the way to a strong application next summer.
http://www.aplus-summerjobs.com/
http://www.coolworks.com/
http://getthatgig.com/

A recent survey reports that kids now spend more time listening to music, playing games and watching TV on their cell phones than talking on them. Even more surprising is that most of the students surveyed commented that their parents do not have rules about how much time they can spend watching TV, playing video games, or surfing the net.

Many teens can find the balance between connecting online and connecting in person; however, parents still should have rules around technology. Here are few suggestions for some basic rules.

* Turn off cell phones, TV, etc during meal times.
* Have all family members including adults turn off technology after a specified time each night.
* Set up a central charging station far from bedrooms at night to plug in all electronic devices preventing late night use.
* Insist your children have at least one extracurricular activity where mobile devices can’t be used.

Recently I had the opportunity to speak with an Associated Press reporter about this research. If you would like to learn more about this topic, check out the story.

AVOIDING OVERINDULGENCE HELPS TEACH KIDS VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS

It’s that time of year when kids are creating their lists and checking them twice to make sure mom and dad know everything they want.  But parents, keep in mind that it’s merely a “wish list”, not a “must get list”. 

As a father, I’d like to give my kids everything. As a psychotherapist, I know that avoiding overindulgence now will in the end teach my children valuable life lessons, such as delayed gratification and working hard for things they want. 

This is not to say that the holiday season can’t be enjoyed.  Take a few footnotes from the book How Much Is Enough?  Everything You Need to Steer Clear of Overindulgence, and you’ll be on the right track for identifying when enough is enough:

* Giving children too much of what looks good, too soon and too long.
* Giving them things or experiences that are not appropriate for their age, interests or talents.
* Giving things to children that meet the adult’s need, not the child’s need.
* Giving a disproportionate amount of family resources to one or more children in a way that appears to be meeting the children’s needs but does not.
* Finally, doing or having so much of something that it does active harm to or at least stagnates and deprives that person of achieving his or her full potential.

It is okay to splurge but be sure to not spoil. Enjoy the Holidays.

Holidays are tricky times for divorced families. For parents, it can be troublesome knowing your teen is enjoying special moments with the other parent. For your teen, a juggled schedule between families can be very disruptive and disheartening. 

Despite the challenges that come with celebrating holidays in a split family, these tips can help ensure that your family still enjoys a wonderful holiday season:

Successful scheduling. Consider what events are most important and respect that teens may have special requests, such as attending certain family parties or continuing a long-standing family tradition. Map it out and see what works. 

Give well wishes and be fully supportive to your teen when he is with the other side of the family. Saying you miss him might be misunderstood and make him feel guilty for not being with you.  Ask about his plans for the day and be sure to tell him to enjoy it!

Think creatively when it comes to gifts. If possible, collaborate with your ex so as to avoid duplicate gifts.  Or, consider splitting high cost items to show that both parents can come together for the good of your child.

Finally, create new memories so that the old ones aren’t missed. It’s about starting anew and coming up with fresh, new memories that your child can always look fondly back upon.

I recently read an article on WebMD that discussed Internet addiction. Researchers examined the relationship between psychiatric symptoms and Internet addiction in 2,162 junior high students over a period of two years.  About 11% of study participants were classified as having an Internet addiction in the initial assessment. This is an alarmingly high statistic.

The Internet can be used as a serious escape from reality. Just as an addict takes drugs or alcohol to mask personal pain or escape reality, one can hide in the electronic world to avoid real life. 
 
Watch your kids to see if the amount of time on the Internet is excessive. Does your Internet addict forgo other pleasurable opportunities to engage electronically?  Is he unpleasant when not engaged with a game controller? A temporary obsession might be developmentally appropriate, especially if a there is a new found game or website, but long hours spent in front of a screen might be a sign of addiction.
 
Regulate all screen time including computers, texting, TV, and video games. Make sure these screens are in an easy place for passive monitoring. Talk to your kids about their Internet use and contact a professional if you think there is a problem.

Teens and cell phones

Texting has been in the news as kids head back to school.  The NBC Today Show did a feature story about a rather graphic commercial related to the hazards of teen texting while driving. I think it makes a big statement, but some critics also think the ad is a bit over the top. What do you think? What the video.

Another story on an NBC affiliate reports that teen “sexting” is so out of control in a Texas school district that school officials have developed disciplinary consequences for this inappropriate act. “Sexting” is when kids send inappropriately suggestive pictures to each other. View the story.

Make sure you know how your kids are using their cell phones. If you would like to read up on some strategies and ideas for discussing proper cellular/texting use with you teenagers, I have a great article and TV interview clip on my media page.

All parents lecture their kids. Even as an adult child, my mother still lectures me usually about how I am raising my kids. Interestingly, I know that parental lecturing is an ineffective method of persuasion, but I feel it is my adult right to “annoy” my children with lengthy and meaningful/less stories to make them better men.

Parents are reasonable people, so why do we do we lecture? It’s like this, your son does something annoying or makes a bad decision, and you feel it is your obligation to share a piece of parental wisdom based on one of your previous experiences.  For example, grades are slipping, and you decide, for the 10th time, to explain to your “interested” offspring that good grades pave the way to a good college that in turns paves the way to a successful life.  Do you really expect your child to understand, and then go study many more hours because he recognizes your brilliance?

It is as if we parents believe our great ideas will take root in the adolescent brain, flower, and generate new and productive behaviors. And, for some reason, we can’t stop ourselves from delivering the ineffective lecture. So, let’s embrace our flaws, proudly lecture our children, but also know when we need to close our parental mouths. Learn to read your annoyed adolescents non-verbal cues. If he looks tolerant then enjoy your moment; however, if he scowls and rolls his eyes—he’s annoyed. It is time for you as a parent to move on and wait for another day to impart your wisdom.

Whenever there is change, anxiety is natural. Back to school time often causes mixed emotions as kids are both excited and anxious about returning to school. Seeing friends, sharing summer stories, and back to school shopping can make the start of the school year fun. On the other side of the coin, many students are also very nervous as the fall semester begins.

Back to school anxieties typically fall into two categories: the “whos” and the “enoughs”. The“whos” are who will be my teachers, who will be in my class, and who will sit next to me at lunch. The “enoughs” are am I good enough to make the team, smart enough to get grades, and cool enough to not be bullied. Kids worry about both social/emotional issues and academics.

Below are a few tips to assist with helping your son or daughter ease back into the school routine and reduce first day jitters.

• Validate your child’s anxiety and listen to their worries.
• If your teen needs to cry, let him; that may be the ticket to feeling better.
• Involve your anxious adolescent in back to school responsibilities. Take them school shopping, discuss schedules, and highlight good things about the first weeks of school.
• Train for the start of school and have your teen practice waking up early to avoid first week crabbiness.
• If you feel the anxiety problem is major, discuss concerns with the school counselors and/or teachers.
• School anxiety should be temporary. If the problem persists, consider professional assistance.

Do you have a good strategy for reducing back to school anxiety, or a good story about how your child made the transition from summer time fun to school time excitement? Please share it.