Dr. Hyken comments in Ladue News on children and their involvement in sports, and the impact it has on their development. Whether your child plays one sport competitively or multiple sports casually, there are important things to consider to make their experience a good one. Download the full article here.
Russell Hyken, Ph.D. Ed.S, M.A., LPC, NCC
Educational Diagnostician
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Archive for the ‘ Blog ’ Category
Youth Athletics – Three-Sport Wonders
Tuesday, November 1st, 2011Are Girls More Anxious Than Boys?
Friday, October 28th, 2011Dr. Russell Hyken answers a reader question in St. Louis Kids Magazine, “It seems my daughter is more anxious than my son. Is this because of how I parented?” Download the full article here.
Arguing In Front of the Kids
Monday, September 26th, 2011Many parents have argued in front of their children. However, while you may pick up and move on, have you ever wondered what lasting impression it is leaving on your kids?
Traveling With Teens Video
Wednesday, June 29th, 2011Traveling with teens during a summer family vacation may be getting difficult as the kids get older. Dr. Hyken offered some tips on how to deal with that issue recently on KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis.
Ladue News Article: Giving Teens a Safe, Sane, Productive Summer
Thursday, June 2nd, 2011
Summer is often a time the kids are aimless and the whole family gets irritable as a result. It need not be that way. Dr. Hyken offered insights on a safe, sane summer for the family in this article for The Ladue News.
As I reflect upon my youth and those lazy days of summer, I have fond memories of staying out late, spending hours by the pool, and making many phone calls to determine the when and the where of my next nightly activity. Yes, those were simpler times without worries of curfew laws, skin cancer and Wi-Fi access.
Teens & Summer Jobs
Friday, May 13th, 2011Most parents want to see their teens get a summer job. Not all teens agree. Dr. Hyken addressed the issue on KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis…
Five Things Your Teen Won’t Tell You
Monday, February 14th, 2011Here are five things your teen won’t tell you – or won’t tell you nicely. In fact they may even speak cryptically or grunt and assume telling you doesn’t “really” do any good.
Privacy
Teens resent that you go through their stuff in their rooms, back packs, or coat pockets. Provide your kids warning about what you need so you won’t have to search. Unless there is a real reason to invade their privacy–let them have space.
They May Be Dating
Many parents say no to dating until a certain age. Here is the thing, if a teen wants to spend time with the opposite sex, they will. Parents should develop a relaxed attitude that fosters open communication. That way, when your teen does become interested in dating, you will be able to discuss and know who they are with and what they are doing.
Grades
Many good students may not get good grades on every assignment. Sometimes that “A” student skips an assignment or brings home a low grade because they just need a break. Parents should avoid getting annoyed and/or expressing disappointment. It is only a problem when it occurs perpetually.
Don’t Hold Siblings Accountable
Nothing gripes an older sibling more than to seeing his younger sister get away with something for which he was punished. Hold the younger ones accountable! You don’t have to have the same consequences, but the rules should generally apply to all. For example, NO Cussing!
Using Age to Your Parental Advantage
“You are 16, so act like an adult.” Then you say, “you are too young to do ________.” Make up your mind. Age appropriateness is subjective so don’t give your kids hard and fast rules that are based on age. Instead have reasonable guidelines that make sense such as take your dishes to the sink after dinner.
*Info for this article was obtained from 10 Things Your Teenager Won’t Tell You By Kimberly Fusaro from WomansDay.com.
Determining Mental Health Issues
Monday, February 14th, 2011Parents often ask how do they know if their child has a mental health issue. This is difficult to determine without multiple therapy sessions. Further complicating this situation is that the teen years are behaviorally complex and even healthy kids may display alteration of mood, distressing thoughts, anxiety, impulsivity and other signs associated with mental health concerns. So how does a parent know if there is a problem? When considering if a typical behavior is a sign of true teen troubles, I say look at the frequency, intensity, and duration.
Frequency is when something happens again and again. Occasional outbursts and misbehaviors are developmentally appropriate. When the behavior crosses the line and there is frequent parental worry, it is time to see a professional.
Duration is related to the specific incident. Does it last much longer than it should? For example, your son received a poor grade and it takes him weeks to get over it. Most kids feel momentary frustration but move on quickly. If you child gets “stuck”, it is time to see a professional.
Intensity is the “scary factor”. Something happens and the reaction is so disproportionate that it creates tremendous parental worry. All kids make the occasional mistake and may “pout” or “argue” as a result—this is a typical teen. This kid, however, reacts extremely — possibly hitting a wall or making inappropriate harsh comments. Again, it is time to see a professional.
When determining the seriousness of your teen’s behavior, look for one of the three characteristics described in this article. Trust your gut and don’t hesitate to pursue further to ensure your child is developmentally on track.
