All parents lecture their kids. Even as an adult child, my mother still lectures me usually about how I am raising my kids. Interestingly, I know that parental lecturing is an ineffective method of persuasion, but I feel it is my adult right to “annoy” my children with lengthy and meaningful/less stories to make them better men.

Parents are reasonable people, so why do we do we lecture? It’s like this, your son does something annoying or makes a bad decision, and you feel it is your obligation to share a piece of parental wisdom based on one of your previous experiences.  For example, grades are slipping, and you decide, for the 10th time, to explain to your “interested” offspring that good grades pave the way to a good college that in turns paves the way to a successful life.  Do you really expect your child to understand, and then go study many more hours because he recognizes your brilliance?

It is as if we parents believe our great ideas will take root in the adolescent brain, flower, and generate new and productive behaviors. And, for some reason, we can’t stop ourselves from delivering the ineffective lecture. So, let’s embrace our flaws, proudly lecture our children, but also know when we need to close our parental mouths. Learn to read your annoyed adolescents non-verbal cues. If he looks tolerant then enjoy your moment; however, if he scowls and rolls his eyes—he’s annoyed. It is time for you as a parent to move on and wait for another day to impart your wisdom.

Whenever there is change, anxiety is natural. Back to school time often causes mixed emotions as kids are both excited and anxious about returning to school. Seeing friends, sharing summer stories, and back to school shopping can make the start of the school year fun. On the other side of the coin, many students are also very nervous as the fall semester begins.

Back to school anxieties typically fall into two categories: the “whos” and the “enoughs”. The“whos” are who will be my teachers, who will be in my class, and who will sit next to me at lunch. The “enoughs” are am I good enough to make the team, smart enough to get grades, and cool enough to not be bullied. Kids worry about both social/emotional issues and academics.

Below are a few tips to assist with helping your son or daughter ease back into the school routine and reduce first day jitters.

• Validate your child’s anxiety and listen to their worries.
• If your teen needs to cry, let him; that may be the ticket to feeling better.
• Involve your anxious adolescent in back to school responsibilities. Take them school shopping, discuss schedules, and highlight good things about the first weeks of school.
• Train for the start of school and have your teen practice waking up early to avoid first week crabbiness.
• If you feel the anxiety problem is major, discuss concerns with the school counselors and/or teachers.
• School anxiety should be temporary. If the problem persists, consider professional assistance.

Do you have a good strategy for reducing back to school anxiety, or a good story about how your child made the transition from summer time fun to school time excitement? Please share it.

I recently sat in with the Phillips & Company St. Louis Morning Show on Y98 FM. The topic — how parents should manage their teenager’s Web interaction in light of new and ever changing technologies like Skype and I-Chat. These latest forms of social networking are becoming more and more popular with teens and young adults. In fact, video calls are the modern day party line where teens can both see and hear each other. What is a parent to do?

Teenagers will always understand computers much better than any adult. Consider reversing the roles a bit and asking your teenager to show you how to use the latest technologies. This is a great way to connect with your kids and learn something new.

Most of the adult population will never understand computers they way our kids do. Ask for their help, and embrace the time you are spending with your teens. Kids don’t go online; they ARE online 24/7 because technology is part of their everyday lives.

To hear more about this topic, check out my radio appearance by clicking on the following link: Listen to Russell .