Tag Archives: Teen Behavior

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Summer Boredom

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The start of summer is a time of unlimited possibilities for most kids. But as the excitement of being free from academic structure morphs into the dull days of summer, kids often become bored and many parents become frustrated. Arguments escalate as parents tell their children to just ‘do something!’ The problem is that today’s youth don’t really understand how to enjoy their free time.

 


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Teens Who Argue are Less Likely to Give into Peer Pressure

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Teens who are able to hold their own during family discussions/arguments, are better able to resist negative peer influences. In a recent segment on KTVI-TV in St. Louis, Dr. Russell Hyken discusses how to argue productively.


According to a recent study from the University of Virginia, parents who encourage their children to have their own opinions and who make a point of discussing/debating tough issues have children who are less likely to succumb to peer pressure.

When we discuss arguing/debating in this context, I am not referring to emotionally dis-regulated outbursts. And it is never acceptable to participate in over-the-top name-calling, or knock-down, drag-out arguments. Heated discussions of appropriate intensity and length are, however, growth-promoting opportunities.

Children benefit from having the opportunity to articulate and defend their own opinion on home turf and hear what their parents think. In fact, it is a safe way for kids to practice standing up for oneself. If teens don’t have a place to discuss tough issues related to sexual relationships, drug/alcohol use, curfews, and other teen concerns, then they may resort to experimenting or acting out without the benefit of parental guidance.

Furthermore, if teens are going to embrace the values and opinions of their family more than those of their peers, they need to feel that mom and dad understand them and will listen to them. Additionally, kids that are secure in their ability to turn to their parents when they are under stress are less likely to feel overly dependent on their friends and are thus, less likely, to be influenced by peer behaviors.

To encourage these conversations, let’s start with how you shouldn’t argue. Going through the motions of listening is not enough, drive by empathy doesn’t work. So, don’t cut your kids off, minimize, or be sarcastic. If you do then they are going to ignore or cut you off because they do not feel safe expressing themselves.

Parents need to learn to understand how their kids are thinking and to see things from their point of view. If you can do this, your kids will be more open.

Here are a few tips that will set the tone for productive discussions.

  • Model appropriate communication strategies and resolution skills. Keep voices low as yelling escalates the situation.
  • Demonstrate listening by engaging in appropriate turn taking exchanges and respond with clarifying statements that convey understanding.
  • End your arguments properly. Keep discussions short and resolve the conflict. Sometimes this will mean agreeing to disagree.
  • Lastly, remember you are the parent. In matters of health and safety, it is okay to lay down the law.

The ultimate goal of listening/arguing is to foster your teen’s autonomy while maintaining a positive relationship with them. Listen, respond, and respect what they have to say even if you disagree. If you can do this, your kids will ultimately make good decisions. And if they don’t they will at least be open to discussing the situation with you.


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Effective Communication for Boys and Girls

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A recent study published by the University of Missouri revealed new insights into the teen brain and the way boys and girls communicate about problems they are facing. When parenting teens, adults need to understand the different ways boys and girls perceive and talk about challenges so that they can provide the best possible support for their sons and daughters.  In this recent clip from KTVI-TV in St. Louis, Dr. Hyken discusses the communication preferences of boys and girls, and how parents (and spouses) can use this information to make all family voices heard.


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Staying Home Alone

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Age, temperament and ability to reason are all factors which must be taken into consideration before introducing new levels of freedom while parenting teens and pre-teens. But if your children are ready, staying home alone can be an exciting step on the journey toward independence. To make it a positive experience, parents need to be able to identify when their child is ready and what they can do to make staying home alone safe and enjoyable. In this recent segment on KTVI-TV in St. Louis, Dr. Hyken offers tips to help parents know how and when to leave kids safely home alone.


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Developmentally-appropriate Perspectives on Friendship

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Like mile markers along a highway, children pass through numerous developmental stages on their way to adulthood. While most parents are familiar with the physical and mental developmental milestones like learning to crawl, walk or speak, less well-known are the ways a child’s development affects his or her perspective on friendship.  In a recent segment on KTVI-TV in St. Louis, Dr. Hyken explains how children perceive relationships at various ages to help parents offer the best guidance and support.


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How to Parent Rebellious Adolescents

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Questioning authority can be a positive indicator of growth and development in teens, but it can also be a challenge for parents. Fortunately, there are strategies parents can use in dealing with this period of burgeoning independence. In this recent segment from KTVI-TV in St. Louis, Dr. Hyken shares tips for effectively managing the parent-child relationship in the midst of those trying teenage years.


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Teens & ADHD

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How do parents know if their teens difficulty in focusing could be a sign of trouble. Dr. Hyken addressed the issue of ADHD.

Cognitive testing provides further insight into how one thinks and learns. Through a comprehensive, data driven ADHD evaluation process, EPS accurately diagnoses and provides recommendations to help ADHD individuals succeed.


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Dealing With Sensitive Teens

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Some teens are most sensitive than others and present a special challenge for parents. Dr. Russell Hyken addresses the issue on KTVI-TV, Fox 2 in St. Louis, Missouri.


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Preparing Your Freshman For College

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Parents are now preparing to send their teens away from home to begin freshman year at college. Dr. Russell Hyken provides some tips on that process on KTVI-TV, Fox 2 in St. Louis, MO.


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Kids and Cursing

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Parents are often surprised when their teens use curse words and wonder where they, “learned that kind of language.” Dr. Hyken addresses that issue on KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis, MO.