Category Archives: School Issues

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Separation Anxiety and the First Day of School

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Most back to school articles tend to talk about preparing kids for the first days of school, and this is an important, attention worthy topic. I, however, want to focus on us, the parents, and how we deal with the freedom that September brings. While many are excited to reclaim their homes and their free time, some actually dread the start of school and experience significant stress about their child’s academic success, social circles, and self esteem.

Parents, just like their children, can experience anxiety as summer vacation ends. Furthermore, an anxious adult can negatively impact their child’s mood as kids have an intuitive sense about their parents’ emotional state. If we don’t keep our feelings under control, our kids may mirror our behavior.

The pangs of separation often impact parents as they overly worry about how their children are adjusting to the start of school. In fact, some mothers drop by the classroom and send teacher emails to alleviate their concerns. Others overcome their anxiety by delving into household projects or other “productive” tasks. These short-term fixes, however, may not relieve those anxious feelings, so try to engage in some endorphin boosting activities such as running or scheduling extra time at the gym.

Many parents also rightfully fear that the initial separation associated with the first day of school will be overly emotional for themselves and their children. Visions of a crying child often loop through a concerned mother’s mind especially because this could actually happen. Emotional or not, parents need to exit school quickly after the initial drop off. In fact, a parental presence typically prolongs the stressful situation. While it is painful to see a panicked child, parents need to keep a stiff upper lip and move on. Teachers are well equipped to handle these opening day meltdowns.

Another big stressor is being unprepared for the start of the new school year. Many women focus on getting kids ready with back to school shopping, visiting the appropriate doctors, and attending to last minute details. It is just as important, however, to review school paperwork which contains valuable information about your child’s teachers, room number, and needed school supplies. Also, pay attention to adjusted hours that often accompany the first few days of school. This will ensure the first week goes smoothly reducing not only your anxiety but also creating a positive experience for your kids.

The start of school has also been known to create moody, cranky children causing many parents to be overly apprehensive about the first few weeks. These elevated emotions are the result of newly imposed structure. Students spend all summer waking when they want and lounging about the house. Overnight, they must get up early and eat at scheduled times. A week before the opening bell, structure the day like school is in session. Adjusting the internal body clock prior to the big day puts everyone in a better mood.

Also, don’t forget to talk to your kids about opening day jitters. Parents should not only reassure but also problem solve. Show empathy, work on real solutions to their valid concerns, and avoid dwelling too much on the situation. Parents can create bigger issues if they over focus on a child’s problems. Once you realize that your student is well prepared, your parental anxieties will be significantly reduced.

Lastly, to further alleviate any anxious parental feelings, email your child’s teacher. Professionals are happy to provide feedback about school progress. In fact, be specific about your concerns to receive relevant information about your situation. Teachers appreciate the inquires, and this will further insure that both you and your child have a stress free start.

The beginning of the school year is a period of adjustment for all family members. A good start, however, will benefit a student’s attitude, confidence, and performance long after the opening bell has rung. Even if things get a bit shaky, parents need to maintain a positive attitude. Time will resolve most issues, and kids are actually more resilient than their parents realize.


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Back-to-School Anxiety

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Summer is over and you child’s mood has shifted: He is not the happy, carefree kid of a few short weeks ago; rather, he has become irritable, complains about headaches and is having sleep difficulties. Welcome to back-to-school stress.

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Preparing Your Freshman For College

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Parents are now preparing to send their teens away from home to begin freshman year at college. Dr. Russell Hyken provides some tips on that process on KTVI-TV, Fox 2 in St. Louis, MO.


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Summer Tutoring

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Summer tutoring is a critical decision for teens and their parents.  It may not be popular among kids, but it is often necessary. Dr. Hyken was recently quoted by St. Louis publication The Ladue News as an expert on the subject.

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Kids and Quitting Video

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Teens are often quick to sign-up for some extracurricular activity, but sometimes just as quick to quit. How do parents deal with this problem? Dr. Russell Hyken addresses the issues with KTVI-TV Fox 2 in St. Louis, MO.


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Teenage Depression

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According to The National institute of Mental Health (NIMH) it is estimated that depression affects 11 percent of adolescents. As awareness for teenage depression grows, more people are recognizing its effect on their lives. Depression is a general state or sad and hopeless feelings, expressed over along period of time. “People with depression usually have low energy and low motivation.” Dr, Russell Hyken, a notable St. Louis child and adolescent psychologist said. Poor appetite, trouble sleeping, change in friends, poor grades and frequent illness are all signs of depression. Depression is constant sadness. Bad moods and stress are expected from teenagers. “Depression is not about having a bad day or a bad week. It is about having many bad weeks and months,” Hyken said, “too much stress ties closer to anxiety than depression.”

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Wilderness Program

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Our daughter is really out of control. My husband and I are considering sending her to a wilderness program or therapeutic boarding school, but we are very hesitant. We really feel we are out of options. How did this happen and what do we do?

This is a difficult question for any parent to ask, but you are not alone. Many families have faced this same concern; however, wilderness programs and therapeutic schools can change lives.

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Defiant Teens

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My teenager has been breaking a lot of house rules lately. Some of the things she is doing feel like normal teenage behavior, but other times it feels excessive. How do I know when my daughter has crossed the line?

As teenagers enter the driving years, their behavior often changes. This is usually related to an adolescent’s desire to develop her own identity as well as her own independence. Peers start to become more important than parents, and the ability to drive creates a new found freedom and opportunity to push the boundaries of household rules. When gauging
the seriousness of your rule breaking teen’s behavior consider the following guidelines to help you determine when your child has crossed the line.

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Services Overview

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What is an Educational Consultant?
Consultants assist families with locating private residential treatment facilities, programs, and schools for troubled adolescents and adults. Consultants have a unique expertise and knowledge to help families choose a facility or school program that is a good personal match for the identified individual, a program that will foster a particular individual’s growth in all areas of life including academic, social/emotional concerns, and clinical issues.

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Teen Gambling

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My son seems to be spending a lot of time playing poker with his friends. He also reads about it on the internet and watches it on TV. Could he have a gambling problem?

Most kids are exposed to gambling long before they reach the adolescent years. They bet with their friends about who can run faster, make a basket, or choose the winning team. They play chance games at fast food restaurants with lucky scratch-off cards or look under the cap of carbonated beverages to win a prize. In fact, I will bet that you have made an innocent wager with your child and didn’t even realize it.

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