Yearly Archives: 2010

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Mean Girls

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Some of my daughter’s friends seem to be teasing her a little more than they should. She seems hurt by this but tells me there is nothing wrong. Could she be hiding her feelings?

Girls can be just as aggressive as boys. In fact, some might consider female hostility more dramatic and damaging than boy bullying. Girls antagonize in a covert, complex and long-term manner; boys, on the other hand, are overt, obnoxious, and instantaneous. Girls employ socially manipulative tactics often causing good friends to be instant enemies.

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Do parents that worry raise anxious children?

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Are we raising ourselves?

This question is the classic nature vs. nurture debate that has plagued man for many centuries. Let’s define these concepts a bit more clearly. Nature is the genetic disposition that we are born with such as hair color, size, intelligence, and even anxiety. Nurture is the idea that we are taught to be the way that we are—our environment impacts how we behave. No matter what side of the debate you are on, the answer to our question is YES—we are raising ourselves.

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Parents Who Bully Their Kids… by accident!

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Many adults believe that bullies only exist at school. Unfortunately, this is not always the  situation. Many kids return home to face humiliation, verbal aggression and behaviorally manipulative parents. This blog is not about them. This blog is about the well-intentioned parent who “bullies” their child—by accident.

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The Teenage Brain

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Sometimes my teenager does not use her brain and makes really poor decisions. She knows what is right, but often chooses to do what is wrong. Why is this?

Adolescence is the second time in life that your teen will actually act like a child. Don’t be surprised if your teenager throws tantrums and makes unreasonable demands that one might typically associate with the terrible twos or terrible teens. Here is the thing; teens actually know their behavior is inappropriate. In fact, if you ask a teen if drinking and driving is dangerous or eating an entire pack of Oreos is unhealthy, they will tell you it is! So why do they pretend to be asleep when it is time to do household chores? Blame it on the brain!

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Back To School Success

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Consider the age of your kids when you prepare for going back to school as different kids have different needs. Below are some general guidelines as well as some specific suggestions to make sure the return to class is a positive experience.

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When Kids Want to Quit

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My son wants to quit playing soccer. He has played for almost 10 years, is this typical of most teens?

Being a teenager is a full‐time job. Most spend more than 30 hours a week at school and engage in a variety of other academic activities including part‐time jobs, music lessons, and sports. Others, however, drop after school adventures in favor of “chillaxin,” spending time with technology, and avoiding their parents. As school becomes more time consuming and friends become more important, life‐long pursuits of pleasure often turn into distant memories and new interests become nonexistent.

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How does a teen land a summer job in today’s tough market?

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The job market for teens is slow. Jobs traditionally given to teens are going to older workers who are willing to take low paying employment to make end’s meat. Also, establishments that usually add summer help are also the places (retail, theme parks, and the hospitality industry) where Americans hit by the recession are cutting back on spending.

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Teens and Studying

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With the school year starting, how can I help my son be a better student and study more efficiently?

I recently asked a group of high school freshman how they study. The answers were insightfully intelligent as well as interestingly unique. One student commented that he studies the big points because the little stuff doesn’t matter, another commented he just stares at his book for 15 minute before taking a break, and one looks for the “bold” words to learn and memorize.

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Friends

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I don’t like my daughter’s friend. Should I tell her or forbid her from spending time with this friend?

What most parents do not realize is that their intelligent teens know when mom or dad disapproves of a friend. And while your daughter does care what you think, she will often ignore your feelings in pursuit of her independence. This leaves you wondering why your previously intelligent child would spend time with “that kid.”

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ACT Advice

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My daughter does not know if she should take the ACT, SAT or both. How does she decided?

You finally learned what LOL, OMG and BTW means. Now, your daughter is in high school, and there is another set of acronyms to learn—PSAT, PLAN, ACT, and SAT. Most parents are familiar with these letters and don’t need Google to determine their initial meaning. However, further examination is required if you are going to truly understand how these tests will impact your child.

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