Last month, my ninth grade son ask me to help him pick out a Valentine’s present for his girlfriend. He seems so young to have a girlfriend. What age is normal for kids to start having dates?
First, it is great that your son still wants his mother’s input. When kids enter high school, they often start relying on their friends more than their parents. I hope you were able to help your son and that he had a positive experience around this very difficult time.
My daughter is getting older, and I feel like I am losing touch with her. I know that teenagers want to be independent, but how do I stay connected with her.
I believe that many parents are scared of their teens—really! I often hear anxious adults say things such as, “my teenager never wants to talk and she is rarely ever home.” The first comment is a myth and the second is an excuse.
Some of my daughter’s friends seem to be teasing her a little more than they should. She seems hurt by this but tells me there is nothing wrong. Could she be hiding her feelings?
Girls can be just as aggressive as boys. In fact, some might consider female hostility more dramatic and damaging than boy bullying. Girls antagonize in a covert, complex and long-term manner; boys, on the other hand, are overt, obnoxious, and instantaneous. Girls employ socially manipulative tactics often causing good friends to be instant enemies.
Sometimes my teenager does not use her brain and makes really poor decisions. She knows what is right, but often chooses to do what is wrong. Why is this?
Adolescence is the second time in life that your teen will actually act like a child. Don’t be surprised if your teenager throws tantrums and makes unreasonable demands that one might typically associate with the terrible twos or terrible teens. Here is the thing; teens actually know their behavior is inappropriate. In fact, if you ask a teen if drinking and driving is dangerous or eating an entire pack of Oreos is unhealthy, they will tell you it is! So why do they pretend to be asleep when it is time to do household chores? Blame it on the brain!
Consider the age of your kids when you prepare for going back to school as different kids have different needs. Below are some general guidelines as well as some specific suggestions to make sure the return to class is a positive experience.
My son wants to quit playing soccer. He has played for almost 10 years, is this typical of most teens?
Being a teenager is a full‐time job. Most spend more than 30 hours a week at school and engage in a variety of other academic activities including part‐time jobs, music lessons, and sports. Others, however, drop after school adventures in favor of “chillaxin,” spending time with technology, and avoiding their parents. As school becomes more time consuming and friends become more important, life‐long pursuits of pleasure often turn into distant memories and new interests become nonexistent.
With the school year starting, how can I help my son be a better student and study more efficiently?
I recently asked a group of high school freshman how they study. The answers were insightfully intelligent as well as interestingly unique. One student commented that he studies the big points because the little stuff doesn’t matter, another commented he just stares at his book for 15 minute before taking a break, and one looks for the “bold” words to learn and memorize.
I don’t like my daughter’s friend. Should I tell her or forbid her from spending time with this friend?
What most parents do not realize is that their intelligent teens know when mom or dad disapproves of a friend. And while your daughter does care what you think, she will often ignore your feelings in pursuit of her independence. This leaves you wondering why your previously intelligent child would spend time with “that kid.”
When our children were younger, my husband and I would never argue in front of them. Now that they are in high school, is it still important to hide our disagreements?
Wow! I am impressed that you and your husband have had that much self-control. While I don’t actively advocate that parents argue in front of their adolescents, dismissing or delaying disagreements can also be potentially detrimental to emotional development. In fact, it may actually be healthy for teens to see their mom and dad engage in the occasional dispute.
My daughter is overweight and she is very sensitive and gets upset with me when I offer advice. What should I do?
Many believe that bully behaviors are confined to school yard taunts and teases. Unfortunately, some teens return home to face further humiliation especially if they happen to be overweight. Parents often have difficulty approaching their adolescent about any sensitive subject, but weight issues appear to be particularly misunderstood.
